Think about what it is like to eat your last meal.

I felt a little off when I first went to the hospital in 2015. I was told by my doctor that I should take vitamins. I was told by my girlfriend to get a second opinion. She forced me to see her family doctor after I refused for six months.

Be careful when you see a doctor. Their goal is to keep you calm, and they always have something else to say. The doctor wanted to take me to the hospital for a guided tour of my insides, but I refused. The new doc said that it was probably nothing. But…

One of the scariest moments of my life has been listed here. Most people aren’t interested in much. I am petrified of hospitals and medical procedures. Going to the hospital is like standing on the edge of a cliff face with no harness, while a tornado twirls around a few feet away. I have to prepare my mind.

Stress is created by phones and social media. I can’t serve my phone master and deal with reality. Social media goes unanswered and phones go off. Social media posts are scheduled. Social media and phones are not allowed.

There are Christmas movies for joy. Content creation stops before the hospital if something goes wrong. On the last day of your life, you won’t be looking at your account, but you will be thinking about your loved ones.

You sit with your family, and eat a meal. As people pass away, the table of relatives gets smaller. Next year you don’t have grandma. It used to be for religious people.

The thought of santa and presents under a tree makes you feel good. It takes me back to when I was a child. It reminds me of the pleasure of giving rather than getting. It is a pure time of year. Everything makes sense.

Right before the hospital, gratitude and joy are excellent. I watch Christmas movies to get ready for the hospital. The universal language of Christmas is joy. You can use Christmas as an excuse to be thankful and happy.

Hospital is a place of fear. calmness is the opposite of fear. Injecting calmness into the mind.

Breathing deeply. You can make calmness in your life when you need it the most. I make calm like this.

Audio in my ears tells me that everything is going to be fine. Tony Robbins has a voice. It is getting sunshine.

I go into lock down two days before the hospital. On the day of the hospital, I don’t have to worry about a single thing. Stress can be alleviated by over preparation. The power of over preparation.

Time is something I don’t take. The time in the hospital is different. Time slows down or speeds up when you are afraid. I feel like an hour feels like 12 hours for me. I’m more nervous looking at the time. I have a backpack with everything I might need in the hospital. I take a lot of water, comfortable clothes, headphones, and tissues.

There is a lot of time to live. Time in the hospital feels different. The hospital is where you go to get help for your body. I start thinking about when I will get dressed, when I will meet the nurse, and when the anesthetist will come into the room and try to explain to me what is going to happen.

I find 9–5 work the most tiring. After I get out of the hospital, my colleagues are trying to schedule meetings. I refuse to do traditional work leading up to the hospital because of this. Absolutely not 9–5 work.

The work phone is far away in a distant universe. The laptop battery is empty so that it can not boot up on my hospital day. It sounds like a big deal. In a world that is always switched on, it is hard to stop.

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